Ehlersism #109

It’s a very simple rule: Slower Traffic to the Right

Right after man created the second wheel he thought to himself, “how am I going to get around this slowpoke.” So he developed the simple rule of passing on the left. Life was great, everyone knew that if someone was going faster they should stay to the right. This rule applied to everything involving motion. Let me tell you those caveman moving sidewalks at the Caveman International Airport were so orderly (walk to the left, stand on the right).

Well somewhere along the way we forgot that rule. I could go on and on about the idiots who are camped out in the left lane on the Interstate doing 5 under the speed limit while humming to themselves and wondering why you are glaring at them as you pass them on the right with a line of 40 other pissed off cars….deep breath. I mean I know everyone didn’t take Driver’s Ed, but don’t you think they would figure out they might be doing something wrong after getting flipped their 20th Bird. And why exactly do they think we are flashing our lights when we come up behind them? Just to say “Hi.” If these people ever drove in Europe they would end up a smear on the side of the Autobahn.

But it is not just driving. I know not everyone spends as much time at the airport as I do, but how lazy do you have to be to just stand there on the moving side walk. And if you are going to stand, do you not notice that most people are trying to walk…move over. Some airports even have a line drawn down the middle with “walk” printed on the left and “stand” on the right…and people still don’t get it.

Races bug me the most. The very definition of a race is to go fast. Trust me, I know that fast is relative to each person…I probably couldn’t run one mile at the pace professionals can run a marathon. But I know if someone is going faster than me; I should try to move to the right. And I’m not saying that is easy to do in a big race that, but common sense should tell you if you are walking you might be going slower than everyone else. And if you are going slower than everyone else, maybe the left is not the place for you. They tell you during the race: Walkers to the right. Most of the time you can hear a runner politely remind them, “Please walk on the right.” But still they walk on the left. Why?